Genealogy is fun, but don’t take it too seriously

I was a graduate student at the University of Wisconsin—Madison when Roots took the country by storm. It inspired me to step into the State Historical Society of Wisconsin genealogy library, where I found my lowly great-great-grandfather Silas Buck Goss in a family history. He was the most distant ancestor I knew of, and having his name allowed me to trace the Gosses back to Puritan New England in one afternoon. 

That hooked me on genealogy. I dove into tracing not only the Anglo-American branch but also the seven-eights of my ancestry that came from continental Europe. My goal was to identify the immigrants in each ethnic group and their birthplaces and then to do cultural history about the regions.

In the nearly half-century since, I’ve returned to genealogy research several times, making additions and corrections. Over time my initial fervor abated and I developed more nuanced views about the significance of identifying one’s ancestors. Here are some thoughts in that vein, should you be inclined to search for your roots.

• Be prepared for shocks. 

I expected that my Anglo-American family history would have a mix of good and disappointing but not that it included such lowlifes as a slave trader and a murderer.

Philip Goss (about 1650–1698) was a slave trader in Boston. Slave traders weren’t a rarity in Boston then, a finding that disappointed me about the history of a city I’d romanticized. Boston merchant seamen like Philip sent rum to West Africa to be traded for slaves that were taken to England’s Caribbean colonies. Philip was also a violent man, was fined many times for fighting, and may have been murdered.

Lemuel Abbott, a farmer in Ossipee, New Hampshire, killed his wife with an ax in 1875. He spent his remaining 21 years in a prison mental asylum. I remind myself that I’m descended from his brother, not him, but he’s still a part of the family history. 

To be sure, there are ancestors whose kind deeds are noted in local histories. A history of Waterford, Vermont, says that when Abel and Irene Goss arrived there in 1793 with only two chairs, they gave one to a nursing mother. Rachel Abbott, Lemuel’s mother, kept her table set during “the starving year” of 1816 in Ossipee so that she could feed the hungry who passed by the house. 

• Don’t take genealogy too seriously. It’s a hobby. You’re doing it for fun.

Ten generations separate Philip Goss and me. But would his misdeeds reflect on me if it were only three or four generations? I don’t believe that ancestors more than a couple of generations back have much to do with my identity. The people we grow up with are the ones who shape us. 

If I thought genealogy were so meaningful to my identity, I would have spent more time on the Continental Europeans who are the vast majority of my heritage. But they are more difficult to research, especially those from Eastern Europe, as my mother’s parents were. All I know of my Slovak great-grandparents are their names and where they lived. For people of non-European heritage, even that little information may not be available. 

I concentrated on the Anglo-Americans because even ancestors as humble as mine can be found in US censuses, local church and vital records, and town and family histories. US research is even easier now with online resources. Not that every search is successful. I tried to identify the parents of Rachel’s husband, Jedediah Abbott, for decades. Why, if it’s not really important? It’s fun and challenging. I feel like a detective who is trying to piece together clues. It’s a good hobby for a person who enjoys research. Some people enjoy crossword puzzles, some enjoy jigsaw puzzles, I enjoy genealogy puzzles. 

• It’s OK to give up on a branch if you are at a dead end — or to use reason in lieu of records.

My Abbott research was stalled at great-great-great-great-grandfather Jedediah. I finally accepted that a birth record for him likely doesn’t exist, but I was able to figure out his Abbott lineage through his relatives. I’ll spare you the details, but know that professional genealogists approve of informed reasoning. It’s also OK to move on if you reach a dead end. Give up a search if you’re not having fun. There are always other branches to research. 

• Be sensitive about speaking about your finds.

It would be hypocritical to deny that genealogy has given me countless hours of pleasure. But being able to name a great-great-great-great-grandparent does not give me status. We all have ancestors going back the same amount of time. Some people just can identify theirs more easily. If I ran marathons, I wouldn’t rhapsodize about it to someone in a wheelchair. Discussions are best saved for those who share the pastime or ask about it.

• Research cultural history.

If you can place your ancestors in a country or region, research the culture. As little as I know about our Slovak ancestors, I still was able to give my relatives a ten-page document with mostly cultural history. I did similar research about my German great-great-grandparents and Luxembourger great-grandparents, who arrived in the 1850s and the 1880s, respectively. Finding out about the history, traditions, religion, and occupations of the ethnic group, why they emigrated, where they settled, and what the first generation in the New World did will tell you more than names and dates can. That kind of information is accessible, and you’ll learn quite a bit about who you come from.