This is customer service nowadays

I joined Jewel’s Fresh Pass because I wouldn’t be able to go to the store after my knee replacement surgery. Delivery is free if you spend $30 — not hard to do these days — but you are asked to tip the driver from Door Dash. I wish all vegetables and fruits didn’t arrive in separate plastic bags, but so be it. 

Every delivery but one has gone smoothly, but that one was bananas (pardon the pun). 

An email around noon said that my order had been delivered, but nothing was outside my door. The driver had left “bag 3,” containing only about a quarter of my order, in the lobby and sent me a text in broken English: “One bag that was mixed with different order is downstairs. I told door dash I didn’t have it as it was with other ladies. Happy new years.”

The person at the customer service number on the receipt had me on hold so long that I hung up and called my local Jewel. After being transferred three times, I learned that my order had been processed by another Jewel store. 

So far, the nuisance was typical of dealing with customer service reps on the phone, but it reached wackiness with the CSR at the other Jewel. I expected her to say, “I’m so sorry. We’ll get your groceries out to you right away.” Instead, here’s how the conversation went:

CSR: “Our records say four bags were delivered.”

Me: “Only one bag.”

CSR: “That’s not what I show.”

Me: “You sound like you don’t believe me.”

CSR: “I need to speak to the Door Dash driver.”

Me: “The driver texted me that he didn’t have the rest of my order. I want to get the rest today.”

CSR: “I can’t do that. I need to email my manager.”

Me: “When will I have my groceries?”

CSR: “I need to open an investigation.” (Was she going to appoint a committee?)

Me: “How long is that going to take?”

CSR: “I don’t know.”

Me: “I got Fresh Pass because I had surgery and can’t shop. I need my food. You’re telling me I won’t have it today?” (I should have added that my fridge was bare.)

CSR: “No, you won’t.” 

Me: “This is crazy. I’m going to take this to a higher-up if I can’t get my groceries soon.”

My threat persuaded her that she could do something. She promised my groceries by noon the next day — 24 hours after they were supposed to arrive. 

Four bags numbered 1, 2, 4, and 5 arrived an hour early the following day. Maybe the CSR thought at first that four bags had been delivered rather than not delivered.