Remember the controversial 2014 article by Dr. Ezekiel Emanuel, then 57, an oncologist, bioethicist, and Rahm’s older brother, where he announced that he would stop getting medical care after age 75? It’s downhill from there, he said, and going on would be a drain on society.
Iconoclast Lionel Shriver presented a more extreme idea than Emanuel’s in her novel Should We Stay or Should We Go. Even if healthy, a married couple plans to commit suicide on the 80th birthday of the slightly younger wife. I read the book because a friend wanted to discuss it.
The thought that I’m old enough to plan my exit astonishes me. My mother was still alive 14 months ago, and when there’s a generation ahead of you, you don’t feel old. Based on my parents’ longevity, I blithely expected another 20 years. Nothing was slowing me down until osteoarthritis flared up in my right knee in summer 2022.
Steroid shots keep me moving. I was up for redecorating my condo and taking a driving vacation this fall. Those activities showed me that I don’t have the energy I used to. Then September and October were busy months, with something on the calendar nearly every day.
One day late last month I cleaned house, grocery shopped, walked two miles to a volunteer gig, and spent the next 3½ hours on my feet there. I returned barely able to move and stayed home for the next four days to recharge.
My age is calling for adjustments.
I don’t have to walk two miles to a volunteer gig where I’ll be standing for three hours. The CTA can take me there and back.
I can save housecleaning for days when I’m not going out.
If I am going out in the evening, I should stay home in the afternoon. One activity a day is enough.
More days at home are desirable. When I retired eight years ago, my ideal schedule was having one thing to go out for every day. Now it might be having a free day after every two or three days with plans.
Any further redecorating is optional.
Travel with a tour group would be less tiring than independent trips, as would slower-paced, shorter getaways.
Yes, making adjustments means admitting that I’m elderly (preferred over “old”) and can’t keep up the pace that I used to. No lie: This is depressing and, even though it should have been expected, hard to wrap my head around. Adjusting to less than ideal circumstances is part of life at any age, however. Looking on the bright side, I’m thinking of diet and exercise tweaks to get healthier, unlike Emanuel and Shriver’s characters.
yes, One activity a day is enough, adjustments are needed for sure. But you still go out just not as much.
ReplyDeleteYes, I'll still want to see friends, do my volunteer gigs, and take advantage of Chicago.
DeleteWe have been trained since childhood to be productive everyday. This means no down time to relax and refresh. Now, when we can finally enjoy some relaxing hours, our guilt kicks in. This is an excellent article about giving ourselves "permission" to take it a little slower. That realization can be a blessing or a curse. We should be viewing it as a blessing. A well deserved cessation of all that stresses us in our previously high intensity lives. Our golden years should be a time to stop and smell the roses.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your looking on slowing down as a blessing. I need to adapt that mindset.
DeleteBeing active is the key to a long life. And being lucky. My mother got up early every morning, did her floor exercises, got something accomplished in the morning, and took it easy in the afternoon. She died in her sleep at age 101. She could still walk briskly and never forgot your name after meeting you once. She's my role model. Modern Medicine can keep us going for a very long time. But there's a time when enough is enough. I hope I have the wisdom to know when it's time to leave and the ability to make that decision.
ReplyDeleteAl, you are emulating your mother very well.
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