Thursday, September 21, 2023

Being alone needn’t keep me at home

The sister of someone I know stopped traveling after losing her husband a few years ago. She misses travel, I heard, so I asked why she does not take tours with groups that cater to single women. "She wouldn't do that" was the answer. 


A Houston couple shared a table with me at a Yellowstone café. "You're traveling alone?," asked the woman, a retired teacher. "That's brave."


I've traveled alone so much that I hardly give it a second thought. In retrospect some of the trips look gutsy – like car camping through New England for six weeks and going behind the Iron Curtain – but I didn't think so at the time. Plenty of things scare me. We're probably all brave about some things and not others. 


"I couldn't do it," the Houston woman continued, and then paused. "Well, maybe if I had to."


I don't have to travel alone. I've traveled with friends, more or less successfully. But unless we want to go to the same places, and I’m pretty sure that we're going to enjoy the same things and be awake and ready to go around the same time, it seems better to travel alone. 


No doubt there are benefits to having a traveling companion. You have someone to talk to and can immediately discuss your experiences. You can split the cost of lodging, car rental, and gas. You can share driving, which I would have appreciated on the recent trip in Yellowstone and the Grand Tetons. Putting 868 miles on the car by myself was tiring and offered no breaks to concentrate on scenery instead of the road.


The obvious benefit to traveling alone is being able to do what you want when you want, but I don't intend to argue that it’s the best way to go. If I had a partner; I'd want to travel with him. But not having a partner ought not keep me at home.


I don’t know whether the widow who won’t travel by herself is afraid or thinks she would be lonely. I’d like her to know that in my experience people are solicitous toward a woman on her own. The Houston couple invited me to eat with them. A man asked whether I wanted my photo taken. 


I probably talked to more strangers than I would have if a companion had my attention. Old Faithful erupting and bison wandering near the road brought out the gabber in everyone. Several people traversing the West in camper vans were eager to talk about where they'd been and were going. 


For those who don’t want to travel on their own, organized tours ensure companionship. There are many tours for solo travelers, you will find by Googling, and they can be narrowed down for age group and gender. When everyone is in the same boat (no pun intended), no one need feel unconnected.


The only courage required to take an organized tour with other single travelers, it seems to me, is willingness to talk to strangers. I’ve met the widow mentioned above; she’s a friendly person who’d likely mesh with a group. She might give a tour a try before ruling out travel for the rest of her life. 

4 comments:

  1. i couldn't agree with you more, i traveled solo on many a tour.
    i also traveled with companions, some good, some bad. I think if i was going to travel with a companion, at this point i would get my own room. Im a light sleeper as i get older and someone snoring
    would ruin my trip (as I found out the hard way). Happy Trails.

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  2. Al Hippensteel9/27/23, 5:56 PM

    A friend of ours lost her husband less than a year ago. She chose to go on a cruise soon after the funeral. It was a "I want to see if I can do this" trip. I never thought her as brave, but this was brave. On her own, she had to negotiate the air flight, make reservations for a hotel stay in Florida before the cruise , and board a very familiar cruise ship with lots of memories. Good for her! We saw her again at lunch recently. We asked if she would be going some place during the winter. She replied, "back to back to back cruises." This year has been a difficult one. But she won't be sitting at home when the cold wind blows.

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