So much everyday conversation concerns the buying or remodeling of homes that it’s hard to resist comparing one’s own.
When a friend remodels, I look around my place wondering what should be changed. Would I do that had I not seen others’ homes? Or never invited another person into mine?
Real estate comparisons bother me, and not just because my place can come out on the short end. They challenge my self-image as a nonmaterialistic person. Not having more than I need is a value of mine for environmental reasons and because I see homeless Chicagoans whenever I step outside.
People who know that I reside in a downtown high-rise may think it hypocritical to claim that I live simply. A high-rise is hardly spartan living, even if my one-bedroom, low-floor condo is one of the least expensive units in the building.
It doesn’t stir up jealousy that many neighbors have multiple bedrooms and bathrooms, windows on two sides, wow views, and high-end kitchens with breakfast bars. It’s flair, not priciness, that I envy. It’s when I see an imaginatively repurposed flea market find, or a daring combination of colors, or a creative arrangement of tchotchkes — all looking just right — that I think, “I wish I could pull off something like that.”
Although style envy doesn’t violate my values, comparisons aren’t constructive. They are losing propositions; there will always be places that are more imaginative.
We think we can acquire more style by watching HGTV and reading House Beautiful and the like. But doesn’t each of us already have a style all our own? A comparison is helpful here: Think about how every person is said to have a unique learning style. A learning style isn’t something a person has to try to acquire. It already exists.
Might we think similarly about decorating style: everyone has one? It comes out of an individual’s unique personality, tastes, and values. Trusting it as a guide, we needn’t be unduly influenced by trends or a neighbor’s remodeling.
I remember telling a friend that I want my condo to look like a creative person lives here. She responded, “It looks like you live here.” I wasn’t sure then whether to take that as a compliment, but now I do. If my home reflects me, what more is there to aim for?
High rise living in the city is living simply. We walk to the grocery stores, dentist, doctor, museums, library, school. I love that a car can be used minimally. We have a lot of residents who repurpose and compost and really try to keep their carbon footprint small. I know you too do this. Don't sell yourself short. Your style is you and from where I sit, embrace it. It's a good one.
ReplyDeleteVery well put. I love the point about being able to walk, not drive, to so many places.
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