Taking a middle way on decluttering

In the 38 months before our mother’s death last October, my siblings and I cleaned out three residences of our parents: the 1,500-square-foot condo where they’d lived for 17 years; their one-bedroom, full-kitchen apartment in an assisted living home; and finally Mom’s room in a nursing home. 

Only the last one was a simple cleanout. Our parents didn’t let go of much. I resolved to be easier on my survivors. 

After 4½ days of going through closets, drawers, cabinets, and shelves, I’m still a ways from the Swedish goal of döstädning, literally meaning death cleaning — clearing out unnecessary belongings so others don’t have to do it for you. But better to be positive: This time I took more bags to a thrift shop than after previous purges.

By the fifth day I was tired of going through stuff and quit. Fortunately, the items left to sort through are contained and not hogging space that would be used for other things. 

You’ve probably heard the tip about separating items into groups: keep, let go of, and think about. My think-abouts include a dozen pairs of outgrown pants that will go to a thrift this summer if I don’t lose enough weight by then to get into them.

I could have been more ruthless about clothes with no occasions to wear; my mother’s kitchen gadgets; cassette tapes hardly listened to; and a box of potential presents that is rarely opened because my relatives and friends seldom exchange gifts anymore. If more storage room is needed, all of these can be purged.

Over the years I’ve given away scores of books, mostly novels. I use the library and am unlikely to open most of the volumes remaining on bookshelves. But books are a part of my decor and say that a reader lives here, so they stay.

Even though a lot more could go out the door, I’m not discouraged. The purge left my place organized if not bare-bones. Similar items are together, boxes are labeled. Clutter isn’t in the way. While cleaning out, I rearranged stuff and freed up some room. The cabinet that I had in mind to buy for the den isn’t needed. There’s nothing to put in it. 

Now that everything is organized, I can continue decluttering gradually instead of doing another all-out assault. Going through one box or drawer of similar items at a time, especially while watching TV, should be easier. It might also be more efficient; decisions would be simpler when I’m not tired of the task. Döstädning is probably never completely finished, but if it’s ongoing, it might be less of a burden.